nitro_is_ace: (bomber girl)
It was the planning of the thing that took the longest. The site had to be scouted (and Ace was very glad she had, because not a one of her fuzzy-headed friends had mentioned that the plants growing near the crash site had begun mutating as well, becoming rather carnivorous and terrifyingly sneaky), explosives had to be gathered, biscuit-men had to be dealt with (whatever else they were, they were damnably persistant), deer-critters had to be given jobs, and she had to work out a way to get close enough to the malfunctioning engines to blow them to hell without getting caught in the field herself. Who knows what she'd mutate into, and there's already been enough changing of the Ace, thank you very much.

In the end, Ace built a catapult. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't highly technical, and it took her a good couple of days to build one that had a decent chance of staying together. The deer-creatures helped, though Ace had quickly discouraged the 'push the tree down with our heads' idea when one particularly whippy tree gave an unsuspecting deer-critter a free lesson in unpowered flight. Razor wire rigged to two deer with harnesses worked much better.

Then she had to figure out how to get the explosives inside the bubble of warped time to where the engines were. Sure, she could now fling explosives at it all day long, but as soon as they hit that field they'd either get stalled completely, or deteriorate so fast they would explode long before they got to the engines. This is where fifty years of temporal physics helps. It's surprisingly easy to set up a temporal null apparatus, given that there's a sufficient power source.

'Sufficient', in this case, meaning 'can power the entirety of New York City on New Years Eve'. She has Q to thank for the solution to this problem. He gave her plasma bombs, once, a very very long time ago. A little bit of jiggery-pokery, and they'd happily fuel her little contraption just long enough (she hopes) to turn the engines into so much scrap metal.

So now she stands, on the ridge thrown up by the crashing ship long ago, with her catapult calibrated by means of chucking rocks at the ship for a while (it might be ugly as sin, but the catapult works beautifully), the deer-critters scattered about watching, and not a sign of the ambulatory yeast balls. It's a beautiful day for an explosion.

Yes, Ace would have thought that even if it was sleeting sideways with occassional hail the size of Volkswagon Beetles. Hush.

Carefully she loads her heavily armed contraption onto the catapult, and sets the timers.

It takes all of her weight to trip the catapult's throwing arm, but the bomb sails away in a perfect arch, up over the ship and down into the aft compartment. It enters the field's outer limits and dives through, not falling apart and disintigrating into dust (gotta look on the bright side, after all).

And then she waits.

And waits.

... How long did she set those timers for?

Maybe they got caught in the field, and they'll be ticking away until the universe collapses.

Maybe the bombs were duds?

...

Nah.

Maybe there's an explosive-eating monster down there. Much more logical.

Ace is about to give up on the whole venture and go back to the TARDIS to call in someone who knows what they're doing when a dull crump sounds over the whirring insects and then there's a flash brighter than the sun as the whole ship goes up in one massive explosion. Ace whoops victory, doing a little celebratory dance on her ridge, with only the deer-critters to see it.
nitro_is_ace: (say what?)
It was a long tale in the telling, made doubly so since Ace couldn't quite believe what she was hearing and kept asking for bits to be repeated. There was no native sentient life, the deer-creatures confirmed solemnly. It is surprising easy to be solemn with those big soulful eyes. They were part of an experiment by a conglomerate of leading-edge scientists, various experiments concerning the feasibility of using their kind as meat-producing species on colony worlds. The ship was a prototype, the newest and greatest thing to be brought online - a ship powered by ripples in time itself. Ace had to hear that part a couple times, just to be sure.

Well, they claimed it was indestructible.

That's rather like painting a giant target on it, isn't it?

The ship crashed on this world, years ago, the entire crew dead on impact. Two of the deer survived, and mutated thanks to the radiation from this new wonderful drive that failed so spectacularly.

Turns out the deer weren't the only things left alive on that ship. One of the scientists also fancied himself a chef. The biscuit people are the direct result of a sourdough starter that splattered all over the kitchen on impact.

"... So what am I supposed to beat them with, clam chowder?" Ace asks the uncomprehending deer while trying to sort out just how one kills mutated yeast balls. "Never mind that, I'm not here for them. Where's this ship?"

She has a time bubble to knock off-line.
nitro_is_ace: (the other one has bells on)
Ace is beginning to think the biscuit people simply aren't coming back.

It's very early in the morning, she's more than a little light-headed from the lack of water (positive: It's not a desert), and there hasn't been any sign of her bread-like captors since they tied her up and left her here.

This is very much not on.

Funny thing about dehydration. It can lead to some very amusing hallucinations. There was one concerning a Dalek in a tutu that kept Ace busy for quite some time.

Thus, when the deer-like creature steps out of the forest and asks her name, she isn't overly surprised.

"Oh, I'm Ace, how'd'y'do?" She replies glibly. The deer tsks, shaking its head (and disrupting the cloud of flies that are hanging about it).
"That is not a proper name." It informs Ace primly. "I am Darnybuck Tarnacyfall. Whyever are you leaning against that tree?"
"Not leanin'." Ace informs it, a little put out that her hallucination is taking her to task. "I'm tied to it, see. Got caught by the biscuit people." The deer sighs dramatically. Ace rolls her eyes. Figures she'd get a drama queen for a hallucination. At least it isn't another Dalek.
Darnybuck sighs, as if being massively put out of its way, then whistles. Sharply. Ace winces as the sound seems to cut straight through her head.
"Oi, cut the..." she doesn't get any further in her complaint as a small herd of deer creatures step into the clearing. Some have wickedly sharp antlers.

"Um. Hullo?" But they ignore her new-found cautiousness. One of the horned ones stands in front of her, antlers lowered, while another couple trot behind her tree. A few moments later, and the vines wrapping her hands behind her back snap free.

"You will come with us." The Darnybuck orders resignedly, and turns, trotting off into the forest. Ace is herded along by an antler-armed guard, though in truth, this looks to be a much better alternative to staying tied up to the tree.

Why can't she ever have normal adventures?
nitro_is_ace: (WTF)
They didn't drag her far, at least as much as she could tell - distances seem different when you're being dragged backwards by something that smells like it escaped from a bakery. She does know one thing - she's never heard of this species before, ever, not unless they've done some major evolving from something else. All her attempts of starting up a conversation have been met with a squishy sort of silence.

Not encouraging.

They leave her tied to one of the massive trees in the forest, though what advantages this tree has over all the others they've gone marching by is beyond her. Her hands are tied behind her, and not even together since her arm-span is somewhat shorter than the circumference of this massive tree.

After making sure her bonds are tight (a little too tight, in her opinion, but they don't seem to care much about her opinion, or anything else she's offered), they march their squishy squashy way off into the distance, soon lost to sight in the heavy foliage.

"Um. Hullo? Hulloooooo-oooooo..." There isn't even a decent echo to answer her. She's beginning to wish she hadn't worn her coat. It's entirely too hot for coats, now that she isn't moving. Well, the good news seems to be there aren't similar skeletons bound to trees all around, so this isn't some ritual dumping ground for sacrifices. Always good to start with the positives. There isn't a giant pit with something hissing and scuttling at the bottom. Another grand positive. She hates hissing and skuttling things at the bottom of pits. They're always so very hungry. There also isn't a satanic torture droid. See? The day's looking up already.

...

There is that rather large charred patch circled with rocks a few yards away.

That is most assuredly not a positive. Maybe it was the hut prisoners used to be kept in before it burnt to the ground in a freak lightning storm. Ace eyes the unmarred canopy far above.

Or maybe it's not?

"Anyone there? Hate t'be a bother, but I'm losing feelin' in my fingers, and I rather like my fingers in their alive an' non-gangrenous state. Hullo?" She tries again. When there's no answer, she sulks, minorly. If it was the Doctor tied to this tree, there'd be a megalomaniac ranting at him while unconsciously providing the perfect route for escape.

Of course, the Doctor probably wouldn't be tied to this tree in the first place.

Bother all that experience, anyway.

Back to looking at the positives then. There's a wonderful canopy, so the sun's not baking her to a crisp. A great positive.

It's then that she hears the hum. It's a low, droning sort of hum that sneaks up on one. She's probably heard it ever since she was dragged to this tree, but she's only recognized it just now. Curiously, she looks about for the source of the hum.

Finally she looks up at a crook in the tree just to the front and right of her own lovely accommodations.

...

Bees. They're huge, and they're kind of purple, but they look like bees.

Bees mean honey.

...

Can she repeat that she was only joking a few days before?

IDIC

Jul. 7th, 2006 01:10 pm
nitro_is_ace: (WTF)
Ace studies the scanner intently as the TARDIS hums in standby mode. They're on a planet - one she's never heard of in any particular sense, in a system thought to be too young to have developed sentient life. Wouldn't be the first time the Council was wrong, however. Something out there was creating a temporal bubble, the energy pattern repeating just often enough to make her suspicious that it isn't natural. It could be, of course - certain crystals at the right frequency can mimic an artificial temporal bubble, but she's not reading the right sorts of chemical compounds anywhere in the area to blame it on that.
"Guess there's only one thing for it, huh?" She asks the black doberman who's lounging at her feet. "You'd better stay here, I don't know what sort of critters are out there, and you're too big to lug if something manages to bite you." Don't ask her what she plans to do if she gets bit. There's only so much you can do.
The doors open to a humid, lush forest, full of irridecent greens and blues. A very pretty place to go exploring, for sure, even if it isn't the most comfortable. Magic whines as the doors close on her, and Ace makes a mental note to drop off on some California beach on the way back and give her pup a good run to make up for the lack of adventure now.
The planet really is beautiful - trees towering far above Ace's head forming a canopy to block the light of the planet's red star sun, vines and shrubs and ferns carpeting the landscape, tiny bugs marching everywhere - of course there's bugs. There's always bugs. They do tend to show up fairly often across the 'verse. Luckily nothing's tried to bite her yet. Something big has evolved here as well - judging by the three-toed footprints, it's possibly the size of a small pony. The trails the creatures have made make convinient paths for Ace to follow through the jungle. She hasn't heard any birds yet, or seen any - the biggest thing flying seems to be a giant dragonfly-type creature that buzzes her every few minutes.

And then her pleasant little walk is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a spear.

Actually?

It's more like a telephone pole with a sharp end.

Ace blinks at the massive weapon that's appeared in her path, then turns to run.

She slams directly into something she hadn't expected at all.

It's huge. It's a pale sort of tan color. It is slightly sticky. There's a definite Ace-imprint in it for a few seconds before it fills out again. It smells vaguely of yeast. Ace stares in shock from where she's fallen, only distantly recognizing the sounds of something else big behind her.

It's a biscuit person. A massive biscuit person.

She was only joking before!

Then she's grabbed from behind (sticky hands, yeasty smell, there's more than one!) and hauled off into the jungle.

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July 2012

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