(no subject)

[nitro_is_ace]

Today she got a letter with her cocoa.

She never had that cocoa.

The letter is in the inside pocket of her coat.

She knew this would happen (but hoped that it wouldn't ever) because everyone leaves (she's told it isn't true, but it keeps happening) and it's held true for eight decades, why should it change now?

She wants to scream.

She wants to run.

Or cry.

She doesn't go back to Yorkshire tonight. She can't. She'd only pace and doubt and worry and fret all night long, and besides depriving everyone of sleep, she'd probably disappoint them in how she doubts.

She doesn't doubt. She believes.

She believes she will lose everyone.

Somehow, that's one faith that never seems to get shattered.

She doesn't bother knocking. If he isn't there, she couldn't bear the wait outside. If he is, he'll understand.

Comments

[creator_raven]

"I have been waiting, I think," Raven says as Ace opens the door.

There is a book in his hands.

He is holding it very carefully.

He may still be waiting.

Maybe it is for Ace, this time.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She nods. They lost their third person. The 'sane' one that the both of them know just needs a little encouragement to let go every once in a while.

And she left.

Ace claims a spot on the bed, pulling the blankets up because no matter what the actual temperature is, it's going to be cold tonight.

[creator_raven]

Raven leans against her, body a heavy weight. The smell of blood and smoke is heavy on the air.

Call it memory, even if it isn't. Not quite.

And then, even more carefully, he lets go of the book with one hand and curves his arm around Ace, tucking her more comfortably against him.

Some things do not so much change.

Not always.

Not all at once.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She tucks herself into the spot against him that fits just her. She forgot to bring cookies.

That's a lie.

She didn't want to have to eat cookies alone. Cookies would have jinxed it.





"If you're goin' t'leave, don't do it t'night."

[creator_raven]

"It will not so much be tomorrow, either."

He won't say 'never', because that is its own kind of cage.

"And I always come back, yes?"

Sometimes small comfort is all there is. And Raven has never been good at that, anyway.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

He is better than he thinks. 'Never' would have been a lie, and worse, a lie both of them would recognize immediately.

She does better with the truth.

"So far." She agrees. "And so far, so do I."

Spoon believes that one day, she will stop. She's not entirely sure she believes that anymore.

[creator_raven]

"It is enough, that."

He believes it.

That, too, may well be enough.

Or it may not.

"I am very tired, I think."

There is a moment, the barest flicker of time, where he looks it.

It passes.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

"I will stay. If you want to sleep, I will stay." She worries about him. She's seen him fall apart, literally, in flames.

She never wants to see that again.

"It's not a good night for bein' alone."

[creator_raven]

"Soon, I think, yes?"

His smile is careful, too, and more than a little crooked.

"When you are also tired. So."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She just gives him a look.

No, there are no inappropriate times for looks. Especially when your brother is a dillweed.

"Raven. I'm not goin' t'be tired."

Except in the larger sense, when her brain reminds her now and then that she was never meant to be this old, that she was built to burn bright and fast.

Ace tries to not even think about that. At all.

[creator_raven]

Raven snorts, rolling his eyes.

Also carefully.

"I will sing, yes? Possibly it is helpful."

And, you know, not bad to listen to, either. Even if his voice is scratchy and rough.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

"If I pretend t'sleep, will you sing?" She loves his lullabies. Even if she generally only hears them when life's gone to shit in a determined sort of fashion.

Who knows, she might actually sleep. He's tricked her before.

[creator_raven]

Raven thinks about this, nose wrinkling.

"Possibly, yes? If you are not so much for snoring."

His love only extends so far. Really.

And then he very carefully disentangles himself, going over to the chest of drawers to place the book very carefully inside.

It will keep, there. Raven has never needed reminders.

Then he goes back to the bed, shoving Ace over and making himself twice as comfortable as before.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

There is obligatory Shoving Back, and Rearranging Of Blankets, and Making Sure the Linens Are Divided Evenly (because he's a blanket hog).

There is also kicking off of boots and draping of coat over a bedpost and snuggling and clinging, though she'll never admit to that last bit.

[creator_raven]

Raven is too busy singing (and cheating) to make fun of her for it.

Likely that will not be changing soon, either.

It is a thing that happens, that.

And, of course, he does not let go.